OWL PARTY: A MASSIVE BIG UPS!

So I'd like to think the party was banging yes? Other than the filth closing it down at 1am! How very dare they...don't they know who I am? But seriously, there were no dramas, no fights, no broken bottles, no tears...everyone acted like grown ups and got dirty on the dance floor...just the way an owl likes it.

So over $2500 was raised and I have decided to give the cash to Project Medishare. A charity that is trying to achieve quality healthcare for all Haiti earthquake victims. You can peep their website here

I'd like to give a MASSIVE GIANT HUGE thank you to....Chris Hemingway - My party organiser. My idol. My buddy. The man cut down trees, built an Owl archway, turfed an entire backyard, built a 'chill' tent, made a living room in the garden with pictures hanging off the hedges and made an owl tree. All in 41 degree heat. I love you mate, you are just plain fucking awesome.

And all you sexual beings that are the owlettes! I loved meeting you all and this has inspired for a whole new project! I still haven't slept from last night and I may just drop off my perch any second so I'll be off. Stay tuned for the photos my darlings.

Peace out x

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente-huit

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE NATURALLY GOOD LOOKING TO BE HOT - It's true! SO many times I've met dudes that haven't grabbed my attention when I first looked at them, but then after a little chinwag and a few glasses of vino, I just imagine them on top of me. I think I may have just given the green light on being a drunken slut....I can't be sure...I hope you get my point.

HAVE A LITTLE MYSTERY - Yes. I know that's a bit rich coming from moi. But I am for serious here, keep that element of cool - otherwise, there is no point in trying to get to know you if it is just all spread out on the proverbial table.

PLEASE CLEAN THE MAKE-UP SLUDGE OFF YOUR MOBILE PHONE - It's pretty fucking gross.

IF HE HAS FACIAL TATTOO'S YOU MAY HAVE SEX WITH HIM - But under no circumstances are you to get involved in any sort of committed relationship with him.

CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER IS WAY BETTER THAN SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER - Please don't send me any comments about this. I am right.

Looking forward to seeing some of you at the Owl for Haiti party tomorrow night x

DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN...(6)

...you take your car through the car wash and you forget to close the back window?

...the guy you've just had rumpy with, leaves his used condom on the floor? Manners costs nothing people.

...all you want to do is sit down at the hairdresser, read the 3 year old Vogue and sip a latte, but all your stylist wants to do is tell you about her boyfriend or what her new bad tattoo means? You just snip some barnet sweetheart, OK?

...you drive perfectly well on your own, but when there are 3 loud mouths in the vehicle you suddenly make a squillion mistakes?

...musicians that are LEGENDS start plugging their albums on talk shows and tell you how you can even download it into a ring tone? John Lennon would be rolling in his grave Ringo Star! You muppet.

...your bra straps keep falling down? It's up there with flies as the most consistently annoying thing ever.

...you live outside of Western Australia and you can't come to my amazillion party this weekend?

kisses xx

Romain Duquesne - Photographer

Romain was born in Belgium and comes from a delicious mix of French and Italian. At the ripe age of 22 the man has already had his work featured in STM magazine and has many more projects in the pipeline. The boy is so sweet and humble, I kinda wish he would just blurt out, 'Hey, my photos are fucking awesome!' Because they are. It also helped that homeboy rocked up at my house in a fly pair of dunks and shares a passion for Kate Moss. Oh yes indeedy.


I prefer fashion photography because ... I prefer to create a scene, rather than capture it - I have a vision in my head of what I want it to look like, and it gives me a thrill to see that develop.

My favourite photographers are ... Steven Meisel and Mert & Marcus. Whenever I look at their work it makes me never want to stop and think I'm good enough.

If I were a bird, I'd be ... an Albatross

I would love to live in ... Paris, based on perceptions I have from watching Amelie

If I wasn't taking photographs ... I'd find another creative outlet to fill my life.

My favourite designers are ... John Galliano, Alexander Mcqueen, Christian Lacroix

For breakfast I enjoy ... Scrambled eggs with sliced chili, bacon, corn relish/sour cream, spinach and 2 large slices of bread. As you can see I love my food.

I would love to photograph ... Sasha Pivovarova and Gemma Ward

I think the Obnoxious Owl ... speaks her mind. It's admirable.

Contact Romain and peep his work here

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente - sept

GLADIATOR SANDALS ARE NOT MEANT FOR CLUBBING - For God's sake woman. They are for the beach, Saturday shopping and brunch with the girls. Not for booty popping to some beats. Plus there is the hazard of people stepping on your toes and also, you just look silly - in my opinion anyway. You're reading my blog, so my opinion counts here.

THERE ARE VERY FEW GUYS WHO ARE WORTH ALLOWING TO CUM INSIDE OF YOU - And when I say few, I mean none. I know you get caught up in the moment and you want to show him how down you are so you allow it, but please girl...get a clue.

TO BE A STAR YOU NEED TO REACH FOR THE SKY - Soz. I don't mean to sound all Hallmark on ya ass, but that pipe dream can become reality if you don't let anyone say you can't do it or if you reach inside and pull out that confidence. It's in there somewhere. But don't get over confident and become a...um, whats the word?...oh yeah...wanker.

FISTING DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE INSERTS A TYSON SIZE CLUTCHED FIST IN YOUR WOO HOO - Please. This is not a circus show.

LET'S GET OUR BRAIN INTO SOME LATERAL THINKING ACTION - Wearing vintage and skinny jeans does not auto make you 'indie', wearing kicks and gold jewellery does not make you 'black' etc etc. One can wear Air Max's, don a leather jacket, with a 1970's floral dress and listen to the Pixies without the need to have a 'label'. Have I confused you?

The only label one should wear is fabulous x

HIGHS AND LOWS

Big ups to Matt from HAL for being a sponsor of The Owl for Haiti party. Much respect x

Check them out here, they sell the freshest kicks in Perth.

Shp1/ 672 Beaufort StMt Lawley WA 6050(08) 9272 9893

Now wouldn't you like to be in THAT sandwich? xx

photography by Luke Thompson

Shelley Pratt - 'TOTALLY BAKED'

If you are a reader of this blog (of course you are) then you will know I love cupcakes. I know it's current pop culture fashion for everyone to love them right now, but I really do love the suckers. If you know this, then you will also know about the party I am hosting on the 27Th Feb. So of course, an Obnoxious Owl party would not be authentic if there were not individual mini cakes scattered about in the theme of, you guessed it, owls. Now who better to commission for these dope little mouthfuls than the ultra chic and ultra cool Shelley from 'Totally Baked'? Hello and good evening, this lady made a bloody cake in the shape of an Emu Export Can and meat pie...I mean...WTF? Can you do that? Probs not. Homegirl got skillz...............

So let's have a little chinwag with this whippet of a girl...




SO MISS THANG, YOU ARE QUITE HANDY WITH THE 'OL EGGS, FLOUR AND WATER AIN'T YA? WHEN AND HOW DID YOU DISCOVER YOU HAD THIS TALENT?
Ever since I was little I have liked to bake. I did a cake decorating class in high school, which I aced. It was loads of fun. Then got offered an apprenticeship as a pastry chef when I was 15, which I stupidly turned down to complete year 12. Idiot!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CREATION?
I think my Emu Export beer cake was pretty good, considering I made it free hand, no design or template to go off. I am my own toughest critic, so the best is yet to come.

WHAT IS YOUR FLAVOUR OF CHOICE?
Can't go past good old chocolate!!! Most of my cupcakes are chocolate and hazelnut, or white chocolate and almond. The ground nuts in them keep them moist and fluffy.
The bigger cakes have to be make out of dense cake like mud cake to keep them sturdy. But I can make just about any flavour, its all about experimenting.

FAVOURITE COLOUR ICING?
Black. Sounds a bit goth, but it just looks so shiny like plastic ... like you should not eat it, but you can! And pink, its pretty.

YOU DEFINITELY DON'T EAT YOUR WARES, WHAT'S YOUR SECRET FOR YOUR TINY FRAME?
Good genetics. Thanks Dad!

WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BAKE CUPCAKES FOR AND WHAT WOULD YOU MAKE THEM?
Johnny Depp ... then he might want to marry me.... he he.

WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INSPIRATION?
I look at a lot of cakes on the internet which gives me ideas, and I just make things that I like. I want to make a Rubik's cube, a hippopotamus (why not?) and a record player for a certain DJ whose birthday is coming up in April. Any suggestions are welcome!


HOW'S THAT OWL? PRETTY OBNOXIOUS OR WHAT??!
If you can get away with it ... go for it!

THE LADY IS AS FRESH AS HER CAKES YO! CHECK OUT HER BLOG HERE.


To commision her for your own imaginitive delights she can be contacted at shelleymp11@gmail.com.

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente - six

SHAVE UNDER YOUR ARMS PLEASE - If I have to tell you why, then kindly stop reading this blog. I don't know you.

ALL GUYS THINK ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOU WHEN THEY FIRST MEET YOU - The thought crosses their mind for defs. First they think 'Would I?' and then if the answer is yes they think, 'Could I?'. Trust me on this. Don't make your ass an entree, it deserves to be the main course. Comprende?

CLEAN YOUR CAR YOU DIRTY GIRL - Nobody wants to get in your ride if they have to sit amongst McDonald's wrappers and clothes that need a spin in the washing machine. Sure, sit there and say, 'Don't get in my car then' - but then you have to ride around in your muck all the time. I'm thinking of YOU here girl.

DO NOT COPY ANOTHER PERSONS TATTOO - It's kinda like getting plastic surgery to make yourself look like someone else. Well OK, maybe that's a bit of an extreme comparison but it's still stealing someones identity. Just don't.

HAVING SEX IN THE DOGGY POSITION WILL 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 GIVE YOU CYSTITIS - Go pee straight afterwards to flush out any bacteria he has pumped into you.

What?! Your mum ain't gonna tell you that now is she?

God speed x

art by: motel 7

Dee Carter - Owner of vintage store WINIFRED & BANCE

So about this party then...we have Jamaican food, a line up of smashing DJ's, drinks, cupcakes and PRIZES which can be won off the 'Owl Wheel' - these prizes are coming from some of the coolest business scattered around Perth. Now you know this owl likes her threads, and I especially love vintage ones. Perth unfortunately is not brimming with an abundance of good vintage stores but there is a diamond gleaming on 850 Beaufort Street, which is owned by this exquisite bird named Dee. Not only was she great fun to hang out with during the interview, but she also donated a couple of items from her range of fabulous frocks and such.

Winifred & Bance (named after her nan Winifred Bance) is a treasure trove of amazingness (real word). It is decorated with Nan's furniture and belongings, even her wedding dress stands daintily in the corner - believe me, at a size 6...it's dainty. But let's introduce you to the broad behind this vintage mecca ... Delilah Carter.

WHERE DOES THE PASSION FOR ALL THINGS VINTAGE COME FROM?

I have no idea really. I've always loved ferreting through markets and op shops and of course Nan's house. I love the history and value of things from times past. They really don't make things like they used to. And every piece tells a story.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VINTAGE AND 2ND HAND?

It depends who you ask!
In my book "vintage clothing" are items from the 1920s to the 1950s. Retro takes off from 1960s to the 1980s. Before the 1920s its considered antique.
Second hand items is anything after the mid nineties.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PIECES IN THE SHOP AS OF NOW?

Oh my gosh that's super hard...I'm just going through 100 pretty vintage dresses for the ladies. They're all so cute and fun...and for the guys probably the vintage tee's I got from America. There are so many of them!

HAS ANYTHING COME THROUGH YOUR DOOR THAT YOU COULD NEVER PART WITH?

My JH Lynch prints with the pretty ladies. They're all mine *insert evil laugh*

WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM SUNDAE?

hmmm...there are so many! I love ice cream! Honey macadamia with fresh banana and warm caramel sauce.

YOUR FAVOURITE PAIR OF SHOES?
My black vintage Justin lizard skin cowboy boots with flame stitching up the sides

FAVOURITE CITY AND WHY?

Barcelona. Vintage clothing, Gaudi, tapas and the people.

DO YOU LIKE OWLS?

I love owls! My friend just got this one. Sooooo cool!

Usually someone this cool ain't that 'chill' but Dee is an uber fresh lady with an eye for treasure, she is like a magpie in this world of birds. Drop in and see her, buy a frock and share a cappuccino. She likes hers skinny, no sugar and very hot! A bit like herself. Owl stamp of approval x

Winifred & Bance

850 Beaufort Street

Inglewood

(08) 9473 0390

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BECK MANSELL - 0415 566 738 (another bangin' bird - fyi)

KAZZ - Owner of Caribbean Kitchen

It is no secret that I have a passion for all things dance hall and dub step (those fly girls I used to work with in London will vouch for me) this being said, when I decided to throw this soiree I wanted it to be lively, I wanted colour, I wanted sublime culture and I wanted the ghetto rawness of Kingston Jamaica and the explosive atmosphere of Notting Hill carnival. So when Hemingway attended the recent Raggamuffin festival and saw Kazz from Caribbean kitchen dishing out Jamaican delicacies, he jumped on him to come feed the faces of my bodacious 'owlettes' and provide the aroma to set the tone of the night. So hear me now and meet Kazz...he'll be bringing the flavas to you...The people of Haiti would be proud.



SO KAZZ, YOUR HERITAGE IS JAMAICAN, BUT IS THAT A SOUTH LONDON ACCENT?
No! North London love

IS THERE MUCH OF A JAMAICAN COMMUNITY IN AUSTRALIA? NAMELY THE WEST COAST?
Yeh mon nuff. We are in the process of forming a Caribbean Association in WA, we have people from all parts of the Caribbean now living in Perth

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE COLOURS?
It's the Colours of Ras Tafari
RED for the blood,
GREEN for the earth
GOLD for the sun

But yuh see I'm what you call a a true Gooner all "RED"

WHAT WONDERFUL FLAVORS WILL BE ON OUR PALETTES AT THE PARTY?
Jamaican "Jerk BBQ Chicken" (is a secret blend of herbs and spices cooked over a Wood or charcoal fire. A marinade of hot-pepper as it's key ingredient) wid Dumplins (A dough mixture is shaped into medium-size balls and fried in hot oil. Wid some Rasta Four Bean salad.

SOUNDS HELLA TASTY. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE TO? Nuh Reggae

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
Jamakin-it nice!!!! Were We Bring de flava to yuh!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT GIRL, THE OBNOXIOUS OWL?
Well nice...like chicken rice haha.

Jamaican me blush Kazz x

For bookings email Kazz at bookings@carribbeankitchen.com.au or check out his website here.



YOU BETTER BE SHOWING US YOUR BESTEST WIND ON THE 27TH RUDE BOYS AND GALS X

THINGS THAT ARE ENJOYABLE...3

NEW KICKS - They are so shiny, and clean and you have a million outfit possibilities going on in your head and your day is instantly brighter.

THEMED CUPCAKES - I HATE themed parties but I LOVE themed cupcakes. It's just genius, plus it's an entire little cake just for one single individual. It's almost too good to eat...almost.

PARTY PLANNING WITH FRIENDS - It is one of the biggest bonding exercises there is. Check out how much we have bonded when you get on down to the Owl for Haiti party on the 27Th, for all you West Coast Australians :)

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? - Or as I call it, 'SO YOU RECKON YOU CAN PRANCE?' - the judges, the outfits, the mock crying, Natalie Bassingthwaite's desperate attempts to be like Cat Deeley whilst pretending she's not in it to promote her new dreadful album etc etc it's just pure TACKtacular!

WHEN YOU ACTUALLY RECEIVE SOME WANTED ATTENTION - Like when a friend you have a mini crush on compliments you, or a hottie gives you the wink. It does to your self esteem what Purex Fabric Softener does to your pj's.

BODY CONTOURING UNDERWEAR - It shaves inches off. Hey you skinny bitches...don't judge.

It's the little things...x

Chris Hemingway - Event Organising Machine

OK, so it's no secret I'm planning an epic party on Feb 27th to raise funds for Haiti and to get a bunch of amazoid peeps together. There are many fingers in this feathery pie so in the run up to the event I will be introducing you to them one at a time, and who better to start with but the brains behind operation.

This would not be possible if it weren't for the help and mastermind of my very dear friend Chris Hemingway. If there were a country called 'PARTY' then Hemingway would be the prime minister. Nobody can pull a bash together like this fine specimen of a male. Get excited because Hemingway is presenting the knee's up of the summer in my opinion. He does an owl proud.

The Hemingway vision for a dope party is ... a banging dance floor is all you need really, everything else is a bonus … I guess growing up in the Hills, always building new cubbies as a kid, (in order to commit all that was mischievous at the time) was the substitute for being locked in a room playing computer games and that’s why I always feel the need to get busy when it comes to entertaining … you can put some drinks in eskies and turn up the stereo or you can build a new arena in the backyard every time in order to keep things … stimulating (if truth be told though, I ummm... I really like to party)

Read more »

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente-cing

IF YOU HAVE YOUR EYE ON SOMETHING SPECTACULAR JUST GO AHEAD AND BUY THE DAMN THING - Because these talented designers end up doing silly things like topping themselves and then that precious item will be even further out of your reach. Lee McQueen, you stupid muppet, we bloody loved you. We will wear our skull scarves with pride. Dress those angels in your bad ass creations.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU MAKE THOSE DRUNKEN/HIGH DINNER PLANS 'Oh I love you, we should do dinner in the week' AND THEN YOU NEVER DO IT? WELL, YOU SHOULD. -Because you end up having a great time and it puts a sparkle into an otherwise beige week.

PEPSI MAX IN THE ONLY SOFT DRINK OF CHOICE - I am currently experiencing an addiction.

IF THE WINE YOU ARE PURCHASING HAS A PICTURE OF FISH AND CHIPS ON THE LABEL, YOU ARE MAKING A BAD CHOICE - In an ideal world it would mean that it goes well with fish and chips, but in reality it actually means it would probs be better ON the fucker.

YOUR MOTHER WILL NEVER ENJOY YOUR SENSE OF STYLE - For example, my mum said to me yesterday 'Why do you wear converse with such a pretty floral dress? A pair of sandals would be better' - thanks for that Mum. Just go with it.

Today is a sad day for fashion :(

LOOK AT MY TWITS

They aren't that interesting, but I am a drama queen and I want loads of followers.

http://twitter.com/TheObnoxiousOwl > c'mon look lively!

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway HOMME Part 9

FOR BOYS ONLY

ALWAYS BEING BROKE IS NOT SEXY - Constantly having to spot you change for cigarettes, buying round after round and giving you 'lunch money' gets really boring and makes us feel like your mum. No matter how large your manhood is.

MEN DON'T HAVE TO BE THE ONES AROUND THE BBQ AND LADIES IN THE KITCHEN TALKING ABOUT HANDBAGS - It's the 21st God damn century for fucks sake.

THAT BEING SAID, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW US WHO THE MAN IS IN THE BEDROOM - We like it.

PLEASE AIM FOR THE TOILET BOWL WHEN YOU ARE RELIEVING YOURSELVES - It's not so much the pee on the seat that is disgusting, but more the little puddle you leave on the floor.

DO NOT GET HIGHLIGHTS - OK, SOME girls enjoy little blonde flecks in their boys hair. But those girls have no business here. This is coming from me and my homegirls, and I'm telling ya...we don't dig. It's not so much the look that bothers me, but more the mental image of you sitting in a hairdressers chair, reading Cosmo, sipping a latte all with little foil parcels all over your head. Hmmm....not that arousing.

Owl loves boys x

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente-quatre

WHEN PURCHASING A NEW CAR, TRY TO STEER AWAY FROM THE COLOUR BLACK - It may look sexy to start with, but the bastard shows every conceivable bump, fingerprint and scratch. Ya need stamina for the ebony hue.

IF YOU ARE EVER CHOSEN TO DANCE ON STAGE WITH THE BAND, KEEP THE SKANK MOVES FOR YOUR BOUDOIR - For example, some ho got on stage over the weekend and tried to get her freak on and ended up kicking herself in the face. Hilarious.

DO NOT DRINK AND TEXT - I'll let ya'll go through my sent box the morning after. That shit will put you right off.

FROM THE AGE OF 25 YOU WILL NEED TO START APPLYING A NECK CREAM - The neck is added to your hands and the skin around your eyes for the things that give away your age.

VODKA AND VITAMIN WATER OVER ICE IS A GREAT DRINK - It has relatively zero calories, it's sort of healthy and it's mighty refreshing. Plus it's pretty chic...let's be honest.

IF YOU CAN'T SLEEP, GET YOUR HAND DOWN SOUTH AND INDULGE IN SOME SELF LOVE MAKING - There is not a sleeping tablet that can compare.

Good night and God bless x

OBNOXIOUS OWL PARTY

Yeah so what was supposed to be a small get together for all my rad Perth readers has turned into quite the extravaganza! Not that I'm complaining. During the planning process the horrible earthquake hit HAITI and I decided, along with my good friend Chris Hemingway (stay tuned to the blog to meet the geezer) to do my bit and help out - every little helps after all.

There will be beer, a Jamaican food van that Hemingway tracked down at the recent RaggaMuffin Festival, owl cupcakes, a pretty impressive music line up, prizes and much much more! I don't want to give too much away in my excitement but you would be mad not to join us. PLUS I wanna meet you all face to face! Just don't ask for any advice...I might not be in the right state of mind to give it and you'll end up looking more like Coco the clown than Coco Chanel.

Bloody love ya xx

IT'S A CRIME NOT TO GO LIME

Soz for the lame play on words but I'm feeling a lil girly today. And I have to stress how much I friggin love LIME CRIME cosmetics. Seriously. Like Doe Deere (the creator) says, this is the usual lipstick colour palette...

I mean, it might as well be ...(shock horror)...beige!

So she answered my prayers and introduced these bad boys...

Let's be honest...make-up is grown up candy. you would be seriously bonkers not to treat yourself. Click on the banners on the side or the bottom of my blog and spoil ya selves.

I want no beige ladies at the Owl party! 27 FEB!!!!! XXXX

Take my advice...I don't use it anyway. Part trente-trois

TRY AND GIVE TO SOME SORT OF CHARITY - However small. But research your charities because there alot of sharks out there. You may think your $$$ are going to an Ethiopian orphan named Ben but it may be going to line the pockets of some fuck wit with no soul.

IF YOU ARE GOING FOR THE ROCKABILLY, 1950 PIN UP LOOK, THEN DON'T SKIMP ON THE GROOMING - The 50's were all about grooming. Yeah so you have a sleeve tattoo, wear a red bandanna and smear red lippie across your face - but your greasy hair, crumpled clothes and ill fitting underwear make you look more tramp than vamp.

GO EASY ON LEARNER DRIVERS - If there ever was a 'FML' situation, it's being a learner driver. Seriously. Give them a break. Yeah, they really want to piss you off when they are petrified at an intersection and aren't sure whether to go or not, so by hooting at them and getting all road rage about it, is exactly the kind of reaction they love. You were there too once.

RED BULL IS NOT BREAKFAST - Don't do it to yourself.

JUST BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND DOESN'T TELL ALL GIRLS WHO COME ON TO HIM TO 'FUCK OFF' DOES NOT MEAN HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU - It just means he is a nice guy. Talking to them politely and having a chat is fine! Swopping digits and putting his hand up her skirt is not. You know deep down if he is a douche bag, so get rid of him if you know he is. Otherwise, don't stand next to him like a bloody bodyguard.

ANYTHING ON THE MENU THAT HAS CREAM IN IT OR IS DESCRIBED AS 'CREAMY' WILL MAKE YOU A LARD ASS - A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

psssst....Obnoxious Owl party on the 27th Feb...pencil it in xx